“I made it through the year and I did not even collapse. Gotta say, ‘thank God,’ for that.”

2021 was a tough year but not without its beautiful lessons and reminders. I learned a prominent lesson in being present, something I had previously prided myself in but found I wasn’t truly living out. I was simultaneously longing for circumstances of the past while trying to race toward a future I could only believe would be better than whatever I was currently experiencing. What I learned was this is all I have. And whether this is delightful or difficult, this is it and, “this is the that I may long for later, so I should go ahead and enjoy it while it’s happening.” 

While I was learning this lesson God was also reminding me of his constant presence in my life. In a hundred different ways his reminders showed up at the perfect moments. They came in song lyrics and sermons, scripture verses and conversations. They came in the still moments of solitude and in the company of family, friends, colleagues, and students. I was reminded of his presence when I was overwhelmed with work and when I was overwhelmed by the goodness of the people I work with. I was reminded that he is with me when it feels like everyone is leaving and he is with me when I’m surrounded by those that I love most. 

I’m thankful for the lessons and reminders of 2021. I’m thankful for all the people who journeyed with me through the challenges, celebrated with me during the successes, and reminded me of God’s faithfulness. As we head into the new year, may we all remember we are here now and this is our moment. And may we also remember that, “Christ is here, he reigns now and always.”

Twelve days had passed since the governor issued a statewide stay at home order. Eleven since I last left the house. I was in the living room, live streaming Sunday morning church service for the fourth consecutive week, when I started to feel it. The pang of sadness. I was singing along with the worship band and became acutely aware that mine was the only voice in the room. I could feel the tears start to well up. The loneliness had finally come.

It’s not supposed to be like this, of course. On Sunday morning I’m supposed to be in the sanctuary (back row of the front, middle-left section) surrounded by so many voices I almost can’t hear my own. But nothing has been like it’s “supposed” to be for about a month now. Especially not these last two weeks. It was bad enough when the students went home and that end of the semester hush fell over campus two months early. Then the stay at home order was announced and my commute became the few feet between my bedroom and home office. I’d had plenty of anxiety related to our new reality up to that point but a new fear was creeping in. 

I live in a house that’s definitely too big for one person. It’s easy to feel alone in my house under “normal” circumstances. But I don’t generally spend that much time here. During the school year I’m at games two or three nights a week and most every Saturday. When I have a weekend off it’s time to schedule an outing with the girls or a trip home to see my family. It’s go, go, go. Every day there’s somewhere to be. It can be tiring but tired is easy compared to lonely.

Now, of course, there’s nowhere to be. No games. No outings. No travel. I “zoom” into meetings a few days a week but other than that there’s no schedule. I’m just at home. I work. I read. I build a puzzle, play the piano, cook dinner. At least I can watch Jeopardy! every night. (Silver linings are important right now.)

In the early days of this “new normal” as schools closed and working from home became the standard, there was a lot of talk about how people were going to manage the chaos of a full house. Memes of children duct taped to the floor while Mom is on a video conference stream into my social media feeds. “Say something your kids are doing but call them your co-workers” is the new post everyone is sharing. “My co-workers still haven’t shown up,” is my comment. Sarcasm is one of my favorite coping strategies. When I “attend” meetings people often apologize for any screaming children or a spouse that may walk through the frame. The only thing I need to apologize for is the echo in the room.

To be fair, it hasn’t been all bad. In fact, when people ask how I’m doing my most common response is something like, “Surprisingly well,” or, “Way better than I thought I would be.” The fact that I made it 11 days alone in my house before crying on my couch is nothing short of a miracle. God has certainly been showing up and helping me not only get through this season, but grow in it too. And that brings me to the purpose of sharing all of this with you.

First. Reach out to the “alone” people in your life. FaceTime them into your chaotic house. Send them a note. Text them a little more often. Let them know you’ll be there if they need help, if they need someone to take care of them. You may think, “She lives alone, she knows how to take care of herself,” but everyone needs help at some point and usually the self-reliant ones are the worst at asking for it. Even strong, independent people have worries and fears. Maybe they’re worried about getting sick and not having anyone around. Maybe they’re worried about losing their only source of income. Maybe they’re worried about being alone for so long. Make sure your “alone” people know they’re not alone.

Second. Everyone has experienced some sort of change this past month. Everyone has experienced some sort of loss, disappointment, pain, fear or anxiety. We should acknowledge those losses, those disappointments, those anxieties. But don’t stay there. Don’t stay in the hurt. As one of my colleagues reminded us today, every disappointment is an opportunity. Maybe you’re anxious about working from home with your children running around. This is an opportunity to spend time with you kids that you wouldn’t otherwise have had. To eat three meals a day with them. To teach them flexibility and resilience. To help them learn how to love others well. Maybe your kids are disappointed about being away from their friends. This is an opportunity for them to become better friends with their siblings. To really see you “at work” and learn about your job. To see sacrifice in action. To learn flexibility and resilience. 

For me? Right now I’m anxious that I’ll be alone for so long I won’t remember how to act when I’m back with people. Anxious about leaving my controlled environment. I’m disappointed about all the things I’m missing out on because there are no student-athletes around and no games to watch. But this is an opportunity for me to slow down. To spend time on the things that I’m usually “too busy” or “too tired” to do. To notice the things that I normally miss. To get better at holding myself accountable and showing myself grace. To see that God is at work every day, all the time. Not just in the lives of the people around me, but in my life too. 

I pray that you’ll see God at work. That you’ll respond to your opportunities. And that the “alone” people in your life will know that they’re really not. 

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5

It’s often said that if you do something you love you’ll never work a day in your life. I used to agree but now I’m not so sure. I mean, I LOVE sports and I’m passionate about the different aspects of my job within the sports industry. But there are plenty of days that my job still feels like work, no matter how much I love what I do. In fact, I’ve wondered more than once if my career is actually slowly killing my love for sports. Irrational fans and a work-life balance that almost always borders on unhealthy can make it hard to love what I do all the time.

I thought about this a lot last week while I was vacationing in South Dakota at the NAIA Division II Men’s Basketball National Tournament, a trip where I basically watched basketball all day and caught a Hallmark movie back at my hotel before getting up and doing it all again the next day. You might wonder why someone worried about losing her love for sport because her job forces her to be around it 24/7 would spend her vacation on a 24/7 sports trip (and, no, it’s not just for the cute coaches). For starters, I got to watch somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 games without worrying about crowd control or needy officials or concessions running out of quarters. That in and of itself was refreshing.

On top of that, the university I currently work for and my alma mater were both competing in the tournament. I had two sets of coaches, student-athletes, media personnel, and fans to hang out with. That provided the ultimate refresher for my love of sports and my career. I was reminded of why I put up with parents, and coaches, and officials, and late nights, and full weekends. Why I really love what I do.

The reasons I still work in collegiate athletics are not the same reasons I had for wanting to work in sports initially (except maybe the cute coaches). I first wanted to work in sports because I love all the things the typical sports fan loves – big crowds and close games and the excitement when your team wins. I thought if I was on the inside of the industry I could have some really cool experiences in the world of sport.

Then I got my first job in a collegiate athletic department and started working with coaches and seeing the profound and lasting impact they had on their student-athletes. I wasn’t sure I could ever have that kind of direct impact on players, but I knew I could help coaches out and give them more time to spend with their teams and families. After a year or so on the job, I started building relationships with student-athletes. Seeing how hard they worked and hearing their stories really motivated me to do whatever I could to make their experience as good as possible. I became friends with our broadcast crew and saw how they were putting in the same or longer hours than I was on game days to provide those who couldn’t be there in person the opportunity to watch. Then I had the privilege of connecting with parents of student-athletes and started to see how much they have invested in their child’s journey to be a collegiate athlete and how many of them love every player on the team like their own son or daughter.

I’ve learned over the years that loving WHY I do what I do is way more important than loving WHAT I do. Loving WHAT I do is significant and certainly helps get through the day to day stuff. But loving the WHY of my job is what sustains me season after season, semester after semester, and year after year. WHAT is about me. WHY is about others. That’s how you never work a day in your life – make your job about serving other people and not yourself. When I remember that my job is really about student-athletes and coaches and parents and all the other people that support athletics, I can’t imagine doing anything else. When I remember WHY, it’s easy to love what I do.

I spend a lot of time at sporting events. I’ve seen a lot of amazing games play out right in front of me. But I’ve also missed some epic moments because of being distracted by poorly behaving fans. I’ve observed some shocking behaviors from fans over the years and, frankly, it makes games a lot less enjoyable. As we head into 2019, I hope sports fans will consider a few New Year’s resolutions and get back to enjoying games again.

Stop Berating Officials – I’ve been around sport long enough to know that the further you get away from the professional level the more rare a “great” officiating crew is. Most officials are just regular people trying to make some extra money doing something they enjoy. They often have full-time jobs and families. Just imagine what it would be like if someone literally yelled, “You’re terrible,” every time you made a  mistake (that’s often subjective) at your job. Or, better yet, imagine someone yelling at your parent/spouse/child at his/her job. Can we resolve to accept that officials are not perfect, know they will make mistakes, and extend them grace instead of hurling insults?

Stop Criticising Coaches – One of the really interesting things about sport is that the layman often believes he’s an expert. I’m sure it’s rare for a non-accountant to walk into a CPA’s office and tell her how she should do her job or manage her people. Few people go up to a conductor after a concert and say, “I really think you had the tempo all wrong on that second piece and you definitely should’ve built up the crescendo more in the finale.” But most sports fans think they know how to coach a team as well as or better than the person actually coaching. Can we resolve to stop questioning every decision a coach makes, accept that they probably know a little more about the game and capabilities of their players than we do, and just be supportive?

Stop Blasting Athletes – This especially bothers me at the amateur levels but I think we could stand to be a little nicer to professional athletes too. Just because they get paid doesn’t mean they deserve to endure the vitriol some people spew. Parents: the only thing your children need to hear from you after a game is that you love them and are proud of them. Save the coaching for when your kid asks for advice. (Or just let the coach do the coaching.) Fans: remember that it takes a lot of courage for an athlete to put his talent on display, something I don’t think most fans ever experience themselves. Can we resolve to celebrate when our team’s athletes do something well, encourage when they struggle, and just leave the other team out of it?

Stop Making Excuses – I’m sure some would argue that each of the above-mentioned participants “signed up for” the various abuses they endure when they put on the uniform or picked up the whistle. I think that’s a petty excuse for people to be mean. “It comes with the territory,” is a lame justification for being too lazy to be a good person. That’s really all I’m asking for us to do as fans: be decent people. Enjoy the amazing displays of talent and skill that athletes have worked so hard to develop, appreciate the game plan coaches have worked so hard to coordinate, and recognize the thankless task officials have of trying to maintain order within the rules of the game. Can we resolve to cheer our hearts out, have tons of fun, and not be jerks while doing it?

Remember, it’s just a game. I love sports but we’d have a lot more fun watching them if fans spent less time being judgemental of those involved and more time just enjoying the game.